Gary Joseph Stahm's Obituary
"Fair Winds and
Following Seas"
It is with a broken heart and tears in our eyes that we announce the passing of Gary Joseph Stahm at the age of 79 on Friday, April 10, 2026, in Lewes, DE, due to idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis complications.
Gary was born in Baltimore, MD, on February 16, 1947, to his parents, Anna Theresa (Carnaggio) and Lloyd Henry Stahm. He resided in Highlandtown, MD, as a small child and later in Dundalk, MD. Gary graduated from Dundalk High School in 1965. After graduation, he enlisted in the United States Navy, serving aboard the aircraft carrier U.S.S. Saratoga. After discharge, Gary proudly became a Baltimore City Police Officer and retired in 1988 after an injury sustained in a patrol car accident. Gary was then employed by Harbor Court Hotel in Downtown Baltimore as the Director of Security. In 2006, he fully retired.
In 1977, he met the love of his life, Betty J. Pilachowski. They were married on November 10, 1978, in Dundalk, MD, and raised their family there for 15 years, then in Jarrettsville, MD, for 32 years. Recently, they moved to Lewes, DE, looking forward to retiring together. Their greatest accomplishment in life is their four children. Betty and Gary are most proud of their 9 GrandSONs.
Gary was an avid Baltimore Ravens fan and could be seen tailgating before each home game. He enjoyed hunting, crabbing, and fishing. His special hobby was showing his collection of Corvettes that he owned in his younger years. Gary was a life member of Charles Evering Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 6506 in Rosedale, MD; a member of William T. Spooner American Legion Post 17 in Lewes, DE; a member of Ravens Roost 50 of Carney; a member of FOP Lodge 3; and a member of the Baltimore Retired Police Benevolent Association.
Gary is survived by his wife, Betty, of 47 years; children Todd Stahm (Lelia), Kimberly Chartier (Rick), Shannon Hagan, and Gary R. Stahm (Kristine); 9 grandchildren, Mason, Nathan, Cole, Andrew, Lucas, Michael, Carson, Elijah, and Kace; in-laws Donna and Charles Balcer, and Lou and Dawn Pilachowski; and many nieces, nephews, and great-nephews. He was predeceased by his parents, Anna and Lloyd Stahm; his brother, Robert Stahm; and his nephew, Brian Balcer.
Gary enjoyed life to the fullest. He had a smile and kind words for all. It was easy to become friends with Gary and listen to his many police stories.
A graveside service will be held at Oaklawn Cemetery, 7225 Eastern Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21224, on Friday, April 17, at 1 p.m., with military honors. All are welcome to attend and are asked to arrive by 12:45 p.m. A celebration of life will be announced at a later date.
In lieu of flowers and plants, please make a donation to the Baltimore Retired Police Benevolent Association Distress Fund in Gary’s honor:
BRPBA Distress Fund
c/o Kathy Conrad
P.O. Box 935
Bel Air, MD 21014
"To meet, to know, to love—and then to part, is the sad tale of many a human heart!”
~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Please sign the tribute wall located at this website.
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Share a story where Gary's kindness touched your heart.
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