R. Thomas Ingram's Obituary
On Tuesday morning, July 25, 2023, we lost our beautiful and beloved husband Tom, Dad and PapPap. After several years of fighting an uphill medical battle with the same poise, grace, confidence, tenacity, grit, and vigor that he tackled all of life’s challenges - Tom passed quietly and in the comfort he desperately deserved. His last moments were filled with family caresses, conversation and snuggles from his best Golden pup Skye.
Tom was born and raised in McKeesport, Pennsylvania. He was the first member of his family to attend college - majoring in Social Science at the Indiana University of Pennsylvania, and taught junior high school social studies, in Monroeville, PA before completing his master’s degree at the University of Pittsburgh in 1964. In the summers, Tom honed his love for adventure, stewardship of the great outdoors, and teaching as counselor and ultimately division director (Iroquois Village) at the Adirondack Woodcraft camp in Upstate New York where his granddaughter has the pleasure of attending this summer.
Commissioned Second Lieutenant in the USAR upon graduation from IUP in 1963, he was granted annual deferments to enable him to complete his doctorate in higher education administration at the University of Maryland in 1969. Subsequently, he entered active duty as a First Lt., Adjutant General Corps, that year (with a “time-in-grade” promotion from Second Lt. and a transfer from Quartermaster). He did his Officer Basic Training at Fort Benjamin Harrison in Indianapolis. His “claim to fame” at IUP was being assigned to be Drill Instructor for the newly established auxiliary of volunteer women students - the “Kaydeens.”
Tom’s first active-duty assignment (1969-70) was at Fort Belvoir, VA as Personnel Officer and Admission Officer for the U.S. Military Academy Preparatory School (intended for active-duty soldiers who aspired to admission to West Point). His second assignment after promotion to Captain was as an Operations Research Officer at MACV Headquarters, CORDS, in Saigon (1970-71). There he monitored the Hamlet Evaluation System implementation before his honorable discharge from active duty in August 1971.
After completing his military service, Tom joined the Association of Governing Boards of Universities and Colleges, in Washington, DC. This is a non-profit membership association that serves as an educational resource for some 30,000-member public and private college and university trustees, presidents, and chancellors. He retired in 2005 after having served as president for the last 13 of his 34 years with the Association, and a year later was awarded an Honorary Doctorate of Humane Letters from Mitchell College (New London, CT). Tom was also a Senior Advisor to the Washington-based Council of Independent Colleges for board-president relationships.
He is widely known for his writing and consulting on best practices in academic and nonprofit trusteeship and governance. In the course of his career, Tom has served on the board of trustees of the Council for the Advancement and Support of Higher Education (CASE) based in Washington, D.C., London, and Singapore (2006-2010). He served on the boards of three private colleges (Dickinson College, Allegheny College, and the University of Charleston), an independent secondary school for girls, a higher education association, a multiple-employer health insurance company, and a mutual liability insurance company where he was a founding board member--United Educators, headquartered in Chevy Chase, Maryland. More recently, he was on the board of directors of Concorde Career Colleges that specializes in allied health education in 16 cities.
In addition to facilitating workshops with the boards and chief executives of some 300 colleges, universities, theological schools, and independent schools, Tom has worked with scores of national nonprofit organizations including the Bush Foundation, American Institute of Architects, National Symphony Orchestra, and the American Hospital Association. He has worked with educational and other organizations in Bolivia, Canada, China, India, Japan, Mexico, Nigeria, Spain, South Africa, Taiwan, Turkey, and the U.K. Among his clients in higher education are Boston University, Yeshiva University, University of Florida, Coker College, Hilbert College, St. Bonaventure University, American University and St. John Fisher College. In the latest few years, he has enjoyed consulting with local boards, including the Rehoboth Beach Art League and Rehoboth Beach Country Club.
His publication, Ten Basic Responsibilities of Nonprofit Boards for BoardSource, now in its Third Edition, has sold more than 300,000 copies. In addition to his several books on college and university trusteeship published by Jossey-Bass, he has written pamphlets for AGB and articles for CASE Currents, Educational Record, The Chronicle of Higher Education, and Trusteeship magazine. He was particularly fond of one of his short stories - “’The Cats Whisker" - selected for publication in a collection of stories.
Tom is survived by his “love at first sight on a blind date,” best friend and spouse of 55 years, Mollie (Brown), a retired elementary school teacher, who misses and plans to talk with her special Tom every single day. He is also survived by their daughter, Kirsten (Ingram) White, a teacher in Montgomery County, MD, Kirsten’s husband Geoff White, a director at the Atlantic States Marine Fisheries Commission; son, David, and his spouse, Shannon (Kondrad) Ingram - both Consumer Safety Officers with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, who strive to live in accordance with his principles and prime directive - 1) When you do something, always do it right - the first time; and 2) Always strive to make a short story a little longer. He absolutely adored being PapPap to his five grandchildren, Ella (18) and Thomas (15) White and Ada (14), Cora (7) and Mollie Ingram (1.5 - “PapPap” was one of her first words) - all of whom never tired of being asked about their activities, listening to his stories and unsolicited advice and perhaps most of all, surviving his signature maneuver called “The Drill.” He loved wrestling, snuggling, petting, throwing balls and ‘mouth boxing’ with all six of his Golden Retrievers: Ruggs, Easter, Summer, “Old” Clover, Skye, and Clover #2. His brilliant wit, skilled writing and editing, expert questioning, worldly views, wisdom, guidance and endless arsenal of politically incorrect and inappropriate jokes will be missed but he knows his many teachings will continue to live through us all as we endeavor to profess and emulate his example by helping others, loving life deeply and never hesitating to say “I Love You.” We love you, Tom.
Mass of Christian Burial will be held on Saturday, August 19, 2023, at 11:00 AM, at St. Edmond’s Catholic Church, 409 King Charles Ave., Rehoboth Beach, DE.
In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to Doctors without Borders, www.doctorswithoutborders.org, or the Public Broadcasting Service, www.PBS.org.
Please sign the virtual guestbook located on the tribute page.
FLORIST NOTE: PLEASE DELIVER ALL ARRANGEMENTS BY 3PM, FRIDAY, AUGUST 18, 2023, TO OUR LEWES LOCATION.
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