Thirty-two years ago, Asbury Park’s first Gay Pride parade stepped out of a fog on Kingsley Street and past the old Talking Bird Restaurant on Cookman. If you were lucky enough to be in the little city by the sea at the time, you knew the two gentlemen who owned the place and lived upstairs in one apartment in the otherwise empty old hotel. Eddie Shau and Carmen with the impossible last name Difilippantonio, were the devoted couple who had made that place a safe haven for hundreds of members of the LGBTQ+ community and their straight friends. The 1970’s had seen the proliferation of a half dozen or more gay bars within a few city blocks. Then the AIDS epidemic tore through the community. Carmen and Eddie welcomed all into their cheerful establishment. Although they were open on weekdays (Wednesday was spaghetti and meatballs, salad, homemade bread for $3), it was at midnight on Friday and Saturday nights that the Bird came fully alive and spread its technicolor wings. At closing time at the nearby remaining bars, an intergenerational stream of men and women flooded the place. Mountains of porkroll, egg, and cheese and crispy fries and gallons of coffee were served. Carmen and Eddie’s famous jukebox requiring no coins at all reverbed with classic sounds. One song which inevitably got played repeatedly throughout those early morning hours summed up the real reason for the place. Aretha, the Queen of Soul, spelled it out for all to hear, loud and proud: “R-E-S-P-E-C-T”.
Eddie and Carmen were truly beloved pioneers in the gay community of Asbury Park. The “Redevelopment” of the city brought an inescapable end to the Talking Bird and so much more that people now “of a certain age” retain as cherished memories. The devoted couple moved first to Las Vegas and finally to Lewes, Delaware. They were together faithfully for 60 years until Eddie died after a series of debilitating strokes. A heartbroken Carmen, who would have been 93 this coming July, survived until last weekend when he passed away in his sleep to be, as he often told us, with Eddie.
Our community recently suffered the devastating loss of yet another beloved pioneer, Carol Torre. Thousands will gather in Asbury Park next month for the celebration of Gay Pride. The parade will be dozens of city blocks longer than that very first one. May the celebrants take time to show respect for all those who made it all possible.
